Dear Dreamer,

I have a fatal flaw: I am a people pleaser. Some of you may not see it as a flaw, but in my life, it consistently is. Here’s just one example of how this has played out for me and the effect it’s had on my life ...

I am a virtual Executive Assistant, which means I work from home for executive-level people at different companies. One of my consultants called me one day asking if I had bandwidth to take on a new client. This client was challenging and needed to transition to a new assistant. Because I had a good relationship with my consultant and didn’t want to let her down, I — the people pleaser — agreed to transition the client.

Fast forward to nearly two years later. This person truly was a challenge. I complained constantly to my husband, so much so that he asked me to never bring up the client's name again. I worked all hours of the day and night to ensure that I was giving everything I had to the client so as not to disappoint my consultant. I allowed myself to be frustrated because I felt I wasn’t living up to his perfectionist expectations of me.

I allowed my client to change me, my identity, so he could be happy at the end of the day. I lost my confidence in what I do. I lost my good-natured personality to fear and frustration. I lost the desire to do anything other than to simply hear him say "thank you."

But God …

He rescued me through the COVID-19 shutdown. I know that doesn’t sound like rescue, but at that time, the client had to take a break from services, and when things opened back up, I was not available. Friend, that is a rescue in my book!

God also redeemed me by bringing me new clients who I enjoyed working with, who were appreciative of me and supported me. I was restored, and I found my voice again! I found me, the me God made.

Rescued. Redeemed. Restored. How beautiful is that?

I am learning that I don’t always have to be a people pleaser. I can use my newly found voice and choose to say “no.” I can prioritize myself, my family and most importantly my relationship with Jesus, and it is perfectly acceptable. I am happy again — I am confident in what I do again — and I've been obedient to my husband and haven’t mentioned that client’s name in my home since!

You have a beautiful voice, Dreamer. Find it, and use it to move mountains.

Love,

Nancy