Friend: “Hey Kendra! How is everything going?”
Me: “Hey girl! Everything’s going really fine! Thank you for asking! How are you?”
Confession: I’m really good at “faking fine.” And the above conversation is standard for me. But do you know what I’m realizing? It’s really hard to be fine all the time. And that’s when the pain and the struggle starts to get ya.
In Chapter 14 of Uninvited, Lysa TerKeurst writes, “If we avoid the hurt, the hurt creates a void in us.”
I would much rather not deal with my pain and avoid the hurt than admit it to my family and friends. Why, you ask? Because I’ve been known to be happy and to have it all together. So who am I to be “down”? I need to hold it together.
But that’s when I need to look at myself in the mirror and remind myself I’m not a robot. And in order to actually be fine, I have to face my problems & deal with it –“it” being my rejection. As Lysa states,
“we must feel the pain to heal the pain.” But sometimes that sounds downright hard and makes me feel weak.
All too often, the pain is screaming from the depths of my inner-core — wanting an outlet but I’m not letting myself feel it. I’m forcing, pushing, shoving it down in the dark pit of who I am, suffocating its existence because, if I can keep it down, I don’t have to deal with it.
Yeah, Kendra, that’s healthy. (Not.)
But what does Lysa do? She offers hope – hope for this “in-between where we know there’s a problem, but we’re not fully over it.” She suggests we ask God to be near – invite Him into our in-between.
In Chapter 14, Lysa walks us through Psalm 91 and adds a prayer to every line of scripture. And dare I offer a challenge? If you’re like me, and you’ve pushed down your pain, take time to:
Find the pain.
Feel the pain.
Deal with the pain.
Like the challenge offered above, search deep within you. Find that pain and hurt, and feel it. Sounds scary but if we embrace this process, healing will follow. And once we learn to deal with it, our gaps are filled and our pain is met by our sweet and ever-so-loving God.
Reflect and Respond:
Observe — What’s your go-to line when someone asks how you are?
Bible — Lysa writes little prayers for each section of Psalm 91. Write down the verse from Psalm 91 that most resonated with you, and then write your own prayer! Make reference in your Bible so you’ll always have it as a reminder.
Stretch — So, now that we’ve decided to deal with the pain, and I hope you have, how are you going to work through your pain? Write your thoughts in your journal!