“I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me … Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead …” Philippians 3:12b, 13b (NIV)
I sat on my back porch, wrapped in my fuzzy worn robe. The birch tree leaves shivered in the cool morning crispness, and the daisies that slept beneath the soil through the winter stretched their faces to the sun.
Then I heard him. The rooster.
ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I’m not sure where he lives, but it’s within earshot.
ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I thought of Peter. I thought of me. I thought of you.
Maybe you know the story. On the night before Jesus went to the cross, He had a chat with his friend Peter. He referred to Peter in his pre-disciple-days name — Simon, as we read in Luke 22:31-34.
“‘Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.’”
“But he replied, ‘Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.’”
“Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.’” (NIV)
A few hours later, Peter did deny he even knew Jesus. Three times. And then the rooster crowed. ER-er-ER-er ERRRR.
Peter went outside and wept bitterly. He cried and cried and cried. The next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure. And the next, and the next and the next. And Peter remembered all over again.
I have been there. I have failed. I have cried and cried and cried. And I have remembered. Shame has poked drain holes in my Spirit-filled confidence, and I have hidden behind the wall with Peter. And even though I asked God to forgive me, and I knew He had, the rooster still crowed in my heart, and I remembered failing all over again. I wonder if you have too.
I have been stuck like a trapeze artist who refuses to let go of the first bar — trying desperately to take hold of grace, but not quite letting go of the shame.
And God calls to me … Let go. Move forward. Live bold. It’s the only way.
And Paul tells me how … “I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me … Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead …” (Philippians 3:12b, 13b).
And I see it clearly. For me and for you.
When we finally take hold of, grasp and make our own all that Jesus has already prepared for us, we begin to experience life to the full — the faith we’ve always longed for.
But taking hold of what’s new is not enough. We’ve got to let go of the past.
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