“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.” Psalm 56:3 (NKJV)

It started three years ago. With the holidays over, it hit me out of nowhere like a bad toothache.

Me, the strong one, the friend who'd tell you to snap out of it, get up, get going and get over it. The tough cookie who never got frazzled, emotional or sentimental. Until suddenly, unstoppable fear and anxiety completely overwhelmed me.

The fear and anxiety were real and unrelenting. Fear loves to take advantage of weakness, weaseling its way in when life overwhelms. Looking back, I can see all that was happening that year. My daughter was expecting her third baby, our house went on the market, and my 94-year-old mom began hospice as I finished a major project. I'd never felt so weak … and the truth is, I was a hot mess.

Has something ever run out in front of you while driving, causing you to slam on the brakes? Suddenly you feel that panicked dump of cortisol in your gut … that “fight or flight” sensation. Imagine that feeling never going away, with continual waves of fear and anxiety eating into your life relentlessly. That was me, and it scared the living daylights out of me. Maybe that was the point.

Fear paralyzes.

It stops you from being able to do anything. The enemy did his best to stop me from doing what I’m called to do. He tried to take me out, but God sustained me, showing me there is hope for the hot mess.

I’ve learned the enemy comes to steal what I’ve been promised. He's after my future, and he's after yours, too. But, if we're going to go on with God, He'll entrust us with suffering, sorrow and pain so that we grow deep in our relationship with Him.

For me, suffering manifested as crippling anxiety. If you've ever dealt with anxiety, you know exactly what I'm talking about. During the worst of it, I prayed, begging God to remove it. But the anxiety lingered for quite a while, because sometimes, God in His wisdom allows what He can prevent with His power … but always for a purpose.

God desires to draw us close. Developing this deep relationship takes time, but when He allows suffering, when the clouds grow thick, and you can't see the sun, when His voice disappears and the pain is real, don't give in. Dare to hold Him close, and let Him whisper destiny to your heart.

God doesn’t promise life without struggle. Sometimes answers to prayer don’t come the way we’d hoped. Paul said, “Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:9, ESV). Paul knew God's purposes were good, and he learned to trust God more than his circumstances, to delight in Him more than in his own strength.

God’s Word doesn't say we will never fear, but Scripture does tell us what to do when fear attacks: "Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You" (Psalm 56:3).

Fear is our enemy. Yet I’m learning to do the exact opposite of what fear tells me to do. If fear tells you to run, stand your ground. If fear tells you to cower, smack it in the face. If fear tells you to be quiet, shout louder!

Through it all, God has taught me powerful lessons:

• God will unravel to reveal.
• He will disorder to reorder.
• Fear isn’t a decision — it’s a reaction.

If you're a hot mess too, keep trusting, and take hope. Hold tight to the One who’s holding you. Trust in His goodness, and know His plans for you are good.

Father, remind your precious daughters You’re holding them by the shoulders, looking into their eyes as you tell them: “You are irreplaceable in My story. Your words matter. Your life matters. YOU matter. Will you trust Me today?” In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (NIV)

RELATED RESOURCES

Kate Battistelli will help you recognize that crazy dream God’s dropped into your heart and encourage you to let Jesus pick your future with her new book, The God Dare: Will You Choose to Believe the Impossible? Get your copy, HERE.

CONNECT

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REFLECT AND RESPOND

Do you feel like a hot mess too? We’d love to hear your thoughts from today’s devotion in our comments section.

© 2019 by Kate Battistelli. All rights reserved.

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