"even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me." Psalm 139:10 (ESV)

Sunlight danced on the walls of my dining room as my heart sank and my head fell to the table. I was undone. Pent-up grief, built up inside over the previous month, overflowed as I tried to wrap my mind around what was unthinkable but true.

I’d just spoken on the phone with the pediatrician. After one son's diagnosis a few weeks earlier, I now knew that two more of my children had the same genetic condition, one that could seriously impact their livers or lungs.

Questions swirled in my head. Was this really happening? What did this mean? Where was God in all of this?

Minutes later, with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I greeted my husband on our front porch and repeated the doctor’s message. Then, as our children played inside the house, we held one another close and cried.

I don’t know how long we sat there, weeping and asking questions of one another and God. But in our grief, the Lord met us. When we didn’t even know how or what to pray, “the Spirit himself intercede[d] for us with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26b, ESV). The Holy Spirit led us to open our hearts to God, commit our family to His care and ask Him to work for His glory in our family's suffering.

Even on one of our hardest days, God led my husband and me. As we clung to one another, His hand held us. And that’s just what our key verse promises: “Even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me” (Psalm 139:10).

This verse is found right in the middle of Psalm 139, in which you and I are repeatedly reassured that our heavenly Father knows all about us. God knew us before we were born (v. 16) and He knows what we're going to say even before we say it. (v. 4) And no matter where we go or what happens, He goes with us, leading us and holding us with His right hand. (v. 10)

Though it shocked me, my children’s genetic condition wasn’t a surprise to the One who knitted them together in my womb. (v. 13) And the diagnosis, which seemed like darkness covering me, wasn't dark to Him. (v. 12) He rescued me from despair and led me closer to Himself.

The following days were hard. There were specialists to see, medications to administer, grief and questions to navigate. But the Lord held me through it all. Looking back, I can answer one question with confidence. Where was God in all of this? He was right there with me.

That is God’s promise to His children: “Even there your hand shall …” (Psalm 139:10). Even in places we don’t want to go to, He will lead us. Even in places that seem beyond His reach, He will hold us.

Whether our “there” is a diagnosis or job loss … unwanted singleness or a struggling marriage … the loss of a loved one or any number of other hardships … the Lord knows and cares about His own children. Even on our hardest days, in our darkest moments, the Lord who knows us meets us. His hand grabs hold of us and doesn’t let go.

Dear Lord, I can feel abandoned on my hardest days, but the Bible tells me that the very opposite is true. Instead, You are right there with me, holding and leading me. Help me believe Your Word and trust You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

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FOR DEEPER STUDY

Psalm 63:8, “My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” (ESV)

Isaiah 41:10, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (ESV)

How does the biblical image of God holding you help you understand His deep love for you? What difference does it make, knowing the Lord is ready to lead you through this week's challenges?

© 2022 by Katie Faris. All rights reserved.

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