What’s the Right Way To Handle This?

by Erica Wiggenhorn March 19, 2024
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5 (ESV)

As I listened to someone speak hurtful words to me, I found myself rubbing the cross necklace hanging from my neck. I simultaneously gazed at the canvas bracelet around my wrist and read the words “What Would Jesus Do?” With emotions swirling and my gut tightening, all I kept thinking was, What is the right way to answer?

Should I simply apologize or try to defend myself? Was my own frustration even justified? Should I turn the other cheek or set a firm boundary? I wished Jesus would miraculously show up and hand me a script of what to say.

How often do we face situations in life where we can’t quite pinpoint the “right way” to respond?

Difficult family dynamics, financial stresses, parenting choices, church conflicts, relational decisions … so many areas where we wish we had immediate access to God’s wisdom to apply to our situation.

Lord, give me wisdom, please! I silently prayed as the hurtful words continued.

In that moment, I took great comfort in the kindness and faithfulness of God in His Word. He has promised to give wisdom when we ask for it — and not just a smidge of good thoughts but a generous amount of true understanding.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5).

God promises to give us wisdom “without reproach,” meaning without scolding or blaming us for needing His continued guidance and strength. In difficult relationships or circumstances, I often find myself playing the same shame song: When are you going to learn how to handle this differently? Instead, God invites us to come to Him and say, Lord, show me a better way!

This promise invites moment-by-moment intimacy with God. He will give us all the wisdom we need in every situation. He promises that in the middle of a difficult conversation or when a decision must be made, we can turn to Him to supply the wisdom we lack.

My hard conversation did not result in immediate resolution. And that's OK. Rather than precise words or actions, I most needed a reminder that God knew the truth and He was my ultimate defender. After my cry for wisdom, I realized silence in the moment remained the best course of action.

Friend, we all have questions in our lives requiring wisdom. When we don’t know what to do … when we wonder what to say … let’s go get the answers we are seeking in God's Word. The book of James is a great place to start. This practical letter in Scripture assures us that God hears and answers us when our hearts need help to respond well. 

Dear Jesus, I have so many questions about how to handle relationships and situations. Thank You for Your promise to give me wisdom generously when I ask You for it. Help me to go to You and Your Word first for the answers I seek. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


You don’t have to carry the weight of doing everything perfectly. Thankfully, the book of James is filled with practical daily directions that show us how to live a godly life without the pressure of feeling like everything depends on us. Join our next study, Am I Doing This Right? How To Live Out Your Faith Through the Wisdom Found in James, starting on April 8 in the free First 5 mobile app. Click here to order your study guide!





Need wisdom for a difficult situation? Are you asking, What’s the right way to handle this? Take this 90-second quiz to discover your wisdom type, and gain tips to help you process your situation. Are you a Processor, Ponderer, Speculator or Sage? For more Bible-study tips, you can also connect with Erica on Instagram.


James 3:17-18,“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (ESV).

How does God’s promise to bring righteousness when we seek His wisdom comfort you in your situation?

What area of your life or particular relationship do you need God’s wisdom to handle more effectively? Let us know in the comments!

© 2024 by Erica Wiggenhorn. All rights reserved.

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