“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45a, NLT).
I could feel bitterness trying to sink its jagged claws into my heart. It called to me: You have every right to feel resentful. Her behavior is sinful, inexcusable — and she claimed to be your friend!
But my conscience prickled with a warning from the Holy Spirit: If I let bitterness take hold, it would spread inside me like a sickness. Corroding my heart. Making me cynical. Tainting my healthy friendships with suspicion and mistrust.
Desperate for help resisting this temptation, I opened my Bible. God guided me to Matthew 5:43-46a:
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that?” (NLT).
I’d always thought of Jesus’ command to pray for our enemies as a godly to-do — but what if there is more to it? What if prayer also helps our hearts overcome bitterness?
I decided to try it. At first, my prayers were stiff and reluctant, but I persisted: Lord, be with her. Heal whatever hurt is driving her to act this way. Show her a different way. Please bring healing to both of our hearts.
I don’t know what happened in my former friend’s heart because of those prayers. But my heart stayed soft and open. God enabled me to reject bitterness and choose forgiveness, though I never got to have a reconciliation conversation with that friend.
Jesus’ way worked.
Obeying Jesus’ command taught me four powerful truths:
1. Prayer shields our hearts from bitterness. It gives us a way to begin releasing our resentment to God. It prevents righteous anger and real hurt from twisting into damaging bitterness.
2. Prayer humbles us. It reminds us that even when we’ve been hurt, we’re imperfect and need grace too. It may even help us consider the conflict from the other person’s perspective.
3. Prayer helps us resist the temptation to seek revenge. It reminds us that God loves justice and that we can trust Him to defend and protect us.
4. Prayer gives us peace while we wait for resolution. Praying strengthens our relationship with God. We trust that He is working even when we can’t see or understand all He’s doing.
If you’re embroiled in a conflict, wrestling with bitterness, or feeling hurt or confused by a strained relationship, Jesus’ encouragement to pray for your enemy may provide the protection your heart needs. God welcomes our requests, and He longs to help His children find forgiveness and unity (John 17:20-23).
It takes time, but when we commit to persistently pray for those who offend us, we give God the chance to work on their hearts — and ours.
Father, thank You for caring about my relationships. Please give me wisdom, and help me find righteous resolutions to conflicts. Please protect my heart from cynicism and bitterness, and empower me to forgive as You forgive. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Just because we’ve been hurt doesn’t mean we have to live hurt. One of the most helpful, practical ways to protect our hearts from future hurt is to implement boundaries in our relationships. In a recent Therapy & Theology episode, Lysa TerKeurst, Dr. Joel Muddamalle, and counselor Jim Cress discuss how to draw boundaries from a biblical perspective without taking things to an unhealthy or unnecessary extreme. Whether you're brand-new to drawing relational boundaries or just need a refresher, listen to “How To Set Healthy Boundaries Without Damaging Relationships” today!
Elizabeth has just released a new devotional for female student athletes — right on time for the fall sports season. In Season is the ultimate playbook for faith and athletics, offering busy athletes everything they need to prioritize spiritual growth while balancing sports, academics, and relationships. To encourage the student athletes in your life, pick up a copy of In Season: A 90-Day Devotional for Female Student Athletes to Build Faith, Strengthen Confidence, and Train a Growth Mindset.
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Luke 23:33-34a, “When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on his right and one on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing’” (NLT).
How has prayer protected your heart when you’ve been hurt? Share your thoughts in the comments.
© 2026 by Elizabeth Laing Thompson. All rights reserved.
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