“Joshua also set up twelve stones in the middle of the Jordan where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant were standing. The stones are still there today” (Joshua 4:9, CSB).
I slid into the car and slouched in defeat. “Nobody told me how hard this would be!” I sobbed to my husband. “I spent years pouring into our children, and now our son is barely willing to tolerate me for two hours at a restaurant.”
When relationships spiral, our minds whirl. What did I do wrong? What should I have done differently? Why is this happening? These questions snaked through my heart, poisoning me with guilt. I reminisced about joyous moments: Christmas mornings, family adventures, times of faithful service in the relationship. And somehow that process of remembering began to alter my thinking.
God often commanded His people to remember the past to reframe their perspective in Scripture. When the people of Israel approached the Jordan River to cross into the promised land, God stopped the river’s flow, and they walked over on dry ground. Reaching the other side, they stacked 12 stones as a memorial of their powerful, promise-keeping God.
But another act of remembrance remains tucked in the middle of that story. While Israel corporately set up stones, some interpret Joshua 4:9 as God inviting Joshua to a private moment: “Joshua also set up twelve stones in the middle of the Jordan where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant were standing. The stones are still there today.”
Once the river resumed flowing, perhaps no one would see the stones Joshua obediently stacked beneath the water. I imagine this moment between God and Joshua helped solidify God’s personal promise to him: “Today I will begin to exalt you in the sight of all Israel, so they will know that I will be with you just as I was with Moses,” (Joshua 3:7, CSB). As Joshua stacked, God etched this promise of His faithful presence on Joshua’s heart.
When Joshua made mistakes, he could look back on that moment and remember: God chose me, despite me. He will be faithful. As I contemplated God’s command to Joshua to intentionally remember His promises, I deeply inhaled this truth: God chose me to be my son’s mother. None of us fulfill our relational responsibilities perfectly, but we, too, can count on God’s faithfulness. My tears slowed to a trickle and self-blame quieted.
Friend, God knows we’ll make mistakes. We don’t have to do everything right in a relationship for God to continue restorative work. God’s faithfulness supersedes our shortcomings. And just like He promised Joshua, He is with us too.
Let’s pause and remember God’s promised presence and ability to open new paths forward in our hard relationships. Your stacked stones of faithfulness and obedience are still “there today” (Joshua 4:9), and God remains at work.
Dear Jesus, I find myself rehearsing regret and sitting in self-blame when it comes to my broken relationships. Help me remember Your promises of faithfulness and forgiveness for my mistakes. Enable me to trust that You remain at work. I release this relationship to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
If you are experiencing a difficult parental relationship, Erica’s brand-new book, Loving Your Wayward Child: A Christian Guide to Stand in Faith and Build Connection When Their Choices Break Your Heart, is available now.
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Jeremiah 31:16, “This is what the LORD says: Keep your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for the reward for your work will come—this is the Lord’s declaration …” (CSB).
Psalm 100:5, “For Yahweh is good, and His love is eternal; His faithfulness endures through all generations” (HCSB).
Pause and remember your personal acts of obedience to God in your difficult relationship. How does God’s promise of reward for good work encourage you?
How does reflecting on God’s faithfulness bring future hope to a currently shaky relationship? Share with us in the comments!
© 2026 by Erica Wiggenhorn. All rights reserved.
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